i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
