He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
