Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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