Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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