The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
