dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
