I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
