She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
