Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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