your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
