Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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