Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
