We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
