I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
