I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
