I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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