is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
