the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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