you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
