so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
