Screwed.edu
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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