Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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