So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
