it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
