that's an acceptable place to lick
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
