if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
