your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
