the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
