i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
