wakey wakey hands off snakey
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
