just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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