redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
