Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
