I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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