Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
