She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
