He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We have started to decorate penises.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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