He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
