I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
ttyl tear gas
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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