There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
