Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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