I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
