:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
