He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
