You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
