Umm I'm too high to move.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
