haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize