My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
