Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize