haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
