Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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