Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
