I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
