Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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