Ambien. No doubt about it.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
my nose is crying tears of wow.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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