You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
