he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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