So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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