I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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