Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
