You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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