Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
