I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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