drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
