I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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