chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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