Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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