I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
