Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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