Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize