ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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