Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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